the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
