Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Let's get the cat blown out
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
