Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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