Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
