i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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