I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
