I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
