We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
