My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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