I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just made my gag reflex go away.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
