As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
