This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
