Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
