Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
