it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
