I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't think brook has ever known best
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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