at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Randomize
