I look better un-naked...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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