why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
