oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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