Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
