Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
