youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
