weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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