You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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