Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
