All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
