There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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