I queefed so loud it echoed.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
