wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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