He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
