Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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