Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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