no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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