Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
