so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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