Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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