I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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