So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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