you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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