when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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