Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
