yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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