I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
