Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
