Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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