SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
