Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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