So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
