capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
