Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
