so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
