you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
