Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
