i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
