I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
