Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
