Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
