I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
