she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
